Who we really are?
by BadBlueBee
Summary: Levi and Eren have difficulties with bearing their feelings toward each other. Will they be able to say how they really feel, not just pretend they don't care? I don't plan to take it longer than about 3 chapters. We'll see. It's my first story ever and English isn't my mother language, so I apologise for any mistakes. But still, I hope you will be able to enjoy it anyway :)
1. Chapter 1

It was yet an early morning but Eren couldn't sleep again. He tried really hard to because he knew that there was only half an hour left before he will have to get up for training. It was almost 6 a.m. After getting nervous on himself and rolling over the bed he finally gave up and just stared into the ceiling. 'Damnit! I will be tired again' He looked at the clock. 5:47. He sighed and made a strange noise similar to a growl. 'There's no point for trying to sleep now anyway, is there?' Another sigh. He sat down and let his feet touch the cold floor which made him frown a bit. He decided to try to find something to cheer him up a bit. Yet, he couldn't find anything. This put him just into even worse mood. 'Sleep. Sleep is what'd make me happier.' He was tired and didn't want another training or very strict cleaning for the rest of the day. He may want to kill some titans… but that was also out of question right now. Suddenly some tears came to his eyes and he just wanted someone to hug him and let him know that it's going to be better. But there was only wind blowing through the window. It was really cold in the room. One tear dropped on his cheek. 'Fuck it, Eren! What is wrong with you?' He strongly wiped it off and clenched his fists. 'Great, just another wonderful day coming.' 'Everything _will _be better. It must be.' He said to himself. From this train of thoughts a loud knock pulled him out.

"Eren? I hope you're awake. Let's go for breakfast." – That was Armin's voice standing behind the doors. He waited some time and repeated the name of his friend. Then the doors opened slowly. – "There you are!" – He smiled warmly. He looked really happy with his big eyes and childish smile.

"Yes. I was just changing my clothes." – The taller seventeen years old responded, what made Armin look a little bid abashed.

"Oh, yes, of course." – He looked down and started moving slowly in the canteen's direction. "You know what I would like to eat? Oranges! I've never eaten them. But now for breakfast, of course. Right now I'd eat some good meat. Or at least some meat… it doesn't have to be good." – He sighed. – "I was sleeping really great tonight. I dreamt about wide opened meadows and clear blue sky. It was amazing Eren." – The blond guy couldn't stop talking and Eren just silently walked next to him. Wondering whether his friend really doesn't see his bad mood and probably red eyes or just chose to ignore it. He needed just one sentence from the person that he care about – Are you alright? That was it. Is that too much to ask for? He'd known then, that someone cares. Eren heard Armin asking him some questions but he didn't even response because the blond friend just kept on talking.

They entered the canteen. Which wasn't that crowded as Eren expected. He wondered why? Because it was still too early? Or the opposite – everyone has already eaten? He walked blindly to the table he always took.

"Are you alright, Eren?" – Some voice pulled him out of his thoughts. His heart skipped a bit and his pupils dilated. 'What? W-w-what?' He couldn't believe his ears. It took him one long moment that this sentence was directed to him. He slowly turned around just to see Corporal Levi standing in front of him.

"You look really pale, brat." – Levi shook his head a bit as if he wanted to say – you didn't sleep well again, did you? You'll finish yourself like this.

Eren just stood there with his mouth open. He immediately felt so happy that this made his eyes watery again.

"I-I am fine, now, Corporal." – He finally answered with higher voice than expected.

"…Great." – Levi gave him a doubtful long gaze from his feet to the top of the head. – "Don't spend too much time here. We have a lot of work to do." – His face changed again form a little concerned to completely strict. – "Everyone! 6:15 in front of the building or I'll kick your asses that you will never sit again!"

"Yes, Sir!" – The whole canteen responded loudly.

When Levi left without saying anything else, Eren couldn't stop thinking about what just happened. He could feel his heart giving him warmth like he hasn't felt for a really long time. He smiled a little bit. He didn't know if it was right to think… if he's bold enough to think… if it's okay to think that… '…he cares about… me…?'

He suddenly laughed in his mind. That was so ridiculous! That even amusing. He's Corporal Levi. It's the last thing that he does – care about people. But still the event did take place and repaired Eren's mood drastically.

Eren sat down in the same table with his two closest friends: Armin and Mikasa. He took one bun and just stared at it blindly. He needed to eat but he just somehow couldn't focus at that moment. Mikasa was silent as always and Armin was talking about the weather.

"So.." – He gently interrupted not really knowing how to finish. – "Corporal Levi, huh?" – He said quietly still starring into the bun. He heard Armin stopped talking and he felt the sight of both friends on his face. 'Shit. What am I doing?' He didn't really think it through. His heart skipped and he blush gently. – "We all hate him, don't we?" – He faked a laugh. That was the only think which came to his mind that could help him go through his awkward beginning.

"No. The thing is – he hates us all." – Mikasa responded shrugging. – "We all went through hard times… most of us. But he thinks that only he has the right to take it out on others." – She said with a slow and monotonic voice.

"Yeah… maybe you're right. But still… we don't know him very well." – Said Eren finally deciding on taking an eye contact with a friend.

"And you think this is the excuse for him?" – Her voice become more annoyed.

"Well… I just said that…"

"You're the one who said "we all hate him", Eren. Why are you now defending him? Don't you remember already what he!?... " – She put down unfinished bread and sighed quietly. – "Whatever." – She quickly got out of the room without looking back.

But she was right. Eren thought. 'I really have no idea what's gone into me.'

"What was that between you two?" – Armin asked shy.

Eren shrugged. "With Mikasa you never know" – He felt bad for saying that, especially that he knew that the blame was on him.

It was almost 6:15. Finally he didn't eat anything. At least Armin was full.

"So, everyone! Some of you are 23 seconds late! But there will be additional exercises for everyone without exception!" – Levi didn't shout but his voice was steady, strong and confident. No one say a thing or a sigh. Some frown faces turned to Eren and Armin but they just acted as if they didn't see it.

After 3 hours of exhausting training on their machines they finally had some brake to catch up their breaths. Fortunately the day was windy so it was easier to work and even it even rained for at least half an hour.

"Some of you did great today but unfortunately, it's still not over. I'll make groups now for our practical training outside the building." – Levi said calmly looking through all gathered. At their exhausted and almost bended postures and sweaty faces. Somehow this gave him pure satisfaction. That the training is working and that it will eventually bring profits. He gave Eren longer look when he knew the kid wasn't able to see it. As for 3hours training the boy looked good. Too good. Levi saw himself in this kid and felt some strange and unknown feelings when he was around. Like if he wanted to become a better person, somehow. 'You pussy.' He scolded himself in mind. He tried to focus and started making groups.

Levi already said all names but Eren still hasn't heard his. Somehow it made him nervous and he constantly stepped his feet. As everyone already knew their groups they just dispersed and started preparing equipment. Eren nervously came up to Levi after no one was left.

"Egmh… Corporal… what about.. m"

"You go with me." – He just stated and turn his back. 'This boy. He will be my doom. What is wrong with me? Why can't I leave him alone?'

'What should I think about this?' Eren stood there awkwardly. 'You go with me.' This sentence resonated in his whole body and echoed in his ears. 'Should I feel special about this?' He was really confused.

"Oi, Eren! Are you planning to stay like this forever?" – Levi shouted not even turning his head back.

"I'm sory."

"So stop feeling sorry and move." – Levi wanted to sound harsh and with anger which worked out perfectly.

"Yes, Sir!" – The boy came after Corporal as soon as possible, just to put his equipment back on and run into the woods together.

The silence between them was overwhelming, at least for Eren. 'Should I say something? Say what? Say something! Now! Anything! No… not just anything. Talking about weather would be just stupid. Say something you little shit, you're probably boring him to death. And you thought he liked you?' The rude voice in his mind was going crazy. It almost felt like there were another personality. Eren was fighting his thoughts like a maniac.

"Eren…" – Levi started stopping on a bench and folding his arms. He looked at the kid who was still panting trying to catch a breath. He couldn't stop thinking how adorable this looks. Levi was facing those unwanted feelings so often lately. The thought that he felt… something, towards this brat made him feel nauseas. But this brat, this fucking brat had something he just couldn't explain. He just couldn't stay away from him but surly knew how wrong this was. He had to make sure that Eren will _never _notice that. – "You know I took you with me just to – _be with you _– to keep you on a leash?"

Eren hesitated. 'What was that supposed to mean!? Why are you even saying me this?' His small and shy thoughts about this man caring about him disappeared as quickly as they showed up.

"Yes… I guess."

"Good." – Levi saw confusion on a boy's face and somehow regretted those words. Sudden noise coming from Eren's empty stomach stopped another silent moment. Levi sighed. – "Why are you doing this, Eren?" – Levi looked angry.

"I-I'm sorry." – Eren responded quickly. 'Why do you care about my health anyway? Huh, Levi? What the hell is going on in your brain?'

"Stop apologizing for fuck's sake and just eat properly your breakfast next time." – Levi said with a hiss in his voice.

"Well… I didn't have too much time till 6:15, did I?" – Eren just got angry. He knew he should got used to Corporal's strict character but this recent change of moods just confused him too much.

This sudden, bold answer both shocked him and amused. He tried so hard not to smile.

"Oh. I get it. I am the one to blame. Maybe I should apologize?" – Levi said not hiding a sarcasm.

Eren looked at him not sure how to take this. He really wanted to avoid any punches form Corporal this time. Eventually he just didn't response. Levi sat down and let his legs swing. Eren just did the same.

"Eren…" – Levi started once again. – "You said earlier that you don't hate me… do you think I hate _you?_" – He asked confidently also moving a little away from the kid because he could almost feel his warmth and his beating heart what was really distracting.

Eren was shocked both from the question and the little movement of Levi. 'Why? Am I that repulsive to you?' This thought popped up in his mind with a speed of a rocket.

"I-I'm not sure. I hope you don't."

Levi smirked. What was that what he wanted to hear? He wasn't sure but again that just felt too adorable for him and his heart skipped. 'I hope you don't'. This sentence was good. It was like a honey. He could heart it over and over. 'Wouldn't be better if this boy actually hated me? If _this _is never going to happen anyway, it would be less painful'. He thought. 'Damn it, I can't only look at myself. This boy is trapped in my hands. He is also probably afraid of me too. I took almost his all life away. And still keeping him next to my side no matter if he wants it or not. He's just here because I told him to go.' That was really sad news.

"We should get going" – Levi ordered.

"Really? It's not even noon yet."

"So? You're hungry and I'm already tired of you." – Levi lied with his heart clenched. _Please stay. _

Auch. Great. So that's the whole story. Eren's mind wanted to explode. Levi was his idol. There was no doubts about it. And the way he sometimes decided to treat him special made him feel some butterflies in his stomach. Every and each time Levi showed like he cared this feeling only got stronger. But in such moments he felt like he really knew nothing about the man. 'Does he hate me? He doesn't give a single fuck about me? Why do I care so much?' That was scaring him to death.

Suddenly there could be heard a loud rustle so close to them that Eren thought for a second he's falling down. Everything happened so quickly. Levi noticed a titan walking at least 50meters next to them. He quietly and swiftly hid behind the tree and uncontrollably he put his right hand on the higher part of Eren's tight just to keep him still, nothing more. He didn't even look when he was placing. Eren gasped and froze.

"Shhh…" – He whispered not even turning head to the boy. Still looking from behind the tree. – "Not this time you asshole" – He whispered again in a titan's direction not moving for even an inch waiting for the unexpected guest to pass by. Which happened after around two minutes. Levi exhaled all the air he was holding back. He was prepared to make a move if the titan noticed them but in that moment he was pretty far away so he hoped to stay it like that.

"Corporal…" – Eren said with an awkwardly changed voice. His skin was burning in the place Levi touched him and he couldn't stop feeling all the shivers up and down his spine. 'Fuck! Put it together Eren! He's a guy!' But he couldn't explain to his body which did whatever it wanted to. – "Your hand". – He finished and at this moment Levi turned around to see where it was.

He inhaled air embarrassingly loud and took his hand up as form the boiling water. There was a silence again. 'Fuck.' It was the only thing that came across Levi's mind. He got really red which he felt with the blood pumping from his cheeks. He turned his head as soon as possible. He was trying to calm down although his whole body was paralyzed.

"Don't get too excited about it, kid" – He laughed with his best-fake-laugh he owned. But his palm and fingerprints in the right hand were just literally burning. He couldn't stop picture his hand on Eren's tight in his mind. His mind were going crazy and couldn't stop picturing higher and higher parts of his body getting even more red on his face. 'It's just a kid for a fuck's sake!'

"Corporal I can take over myself, you know." – Eren sound perfectly normal back again although still, this incident looked odd to him.

"Mhm, of course" – Levi couldn't even listen his companion. The blood in his ears was just too hot and loud. He tried to get up as soon as it gets but in that very moment he felt a hand grasping his wrist. He uncontrollable turned his head to Eren.

Eren gasped quietly as he saw his face. 'Is it that bad?' Levi thought.

"Corporal… what happene…?" – He didn't even had time to finish the question as he got really strong punch in a face. That hurt. He couldn't feel a thing on his face and he could have sworn he lost all his teeth.

"Who gave you the right to touch me?" – Levi said with his voice steady again. He put himself together thanks to the punch he gave and freed his wrist away.

"Well… I could ask you the same." – Eren responded boldly even expecting another punch but there wasn't this time. – "What is your deal Corporal?!" – Eren shouted. His tongue loosen as if he had at least five shots. – "You can punch me as much as you want. Kill me, if you want but tell me what is this all about? Do you hate me after all? Don't pity me, just say it!"


	2. Chapter 2

Eren was panting a little form the anger that was boiling in this body but he kept his sight on Levi's. His eyes were shouting 'Give me some answers'. But there was silence. The wind was blowing really hard and sky got more grey and darker. Two man in the middle of the woods were now standing on a big wide branch looking at each other with so much tension and emotion that one looking at them couldn't be sure whether they are about to kill each other or make out. There were almost flames around them. So many unspoken words. Finally Levi made one big step in Eren's direction, just so his head was almost touching Eren's torso. Corporal was smaller over one head from Eren so he had to turn his head strongly upwards and also look up. Despise that, his greyish eyes were so self-confident, so bold and perky that made Eren feel almost like a lost puppy.

"Don't provoke me, kid." – He said, his eyes drilling Eren's. 'Who the fuck does he think he is?!' His thoughts were screaming. 'No one. No one! Will ever talk to me like that! And especially this fucking kid!' Levi's breath was already calm but his heart was skipping like crazy. Was is from this fury? Or excitement? Or the fact that they were standing so close their bodies were almost touching? Eren still wasn't responding. As Levi was deeply looking into those big brown eyes he saw that this previous act of boldness was fake. Now he saw only fear and lost into eyes of a boy who went through a lot in his life. He was just a seventeen years old boy whose father was experimenting of him and whose mother was eaten by a titan. Levi's heart clenched so hard it actually hurt him. … _'You. Love. Him.' … _He heard a whisper inside of his head. His heart fastened. He didn't want this. Oh, God, how much he didn't want this! He wasn't asking for those feelings! 'NO!' He screamed back with terror in his head so loud he thought for a second he actually did it out loud.

"I'm sorry, Corp…" – Eren wasn't able to finish the sentence because Levi interrupted him with the most hideous, low and scary voice he's ever heard and all he could see was Levi's fist coming from downwards. It hit his jaw so hard that he almost lost all his senses.

"HOW." – _Punch. – _"MANY." – _Punch. – _"TIMES." – _Punch. – _"DO I HAVE TO" – _Punch. – _"TELL YOU." – _Punch. _– "TO STOP" – _Another punch. – _"APOLOGISING!?" – Levi just lost himself due this confession of love he just had in his mind. It terrified him so bad. He didn't know such feeling and by giving punches he tried so hard to get rid of them. To stop feeling. To become himself again. Good, old himself who he enjoyed. His face though still stayed and looked unmoved.

He couldn't stop beating the poor kid. All this emotions were literally killing him and he selfishly wanted someone else to suffer with him. His moves were really strong, fast and rigid. With this rough fight they suddenly fell down from the branch, falling at least 10meters down on a hard ground. Levi on the top of Eren stiffly holding Eren's old t-shirt. They were lying like that for at least a couple of minutes not moving for an inch. Levi was touching Eren's torso with his forehead, both gasping and panting strongly. Levi would have worried a bit for the Kid's health if it wasn't for the fact that the kid was half-titan and it wasn't so easy to kill him after all.

Despite that, Levi could feel the warm blood of the boy on his hands and oozing down on Eren's neck. He got carried away and instantly regretted it. 'I'm not normal. I am the one who should be closed in the basements. I did it to him… again. And this time even without any particular reason.' Levi got up a little bit still with his head bowed. He was above Eren so that his legs were surrounding the younger boy's hips and his hands were both next to the boy's arms. He couldn't force himself now to look Eren in the eyes.

"Eren…" – He started slowly with a little shaky voice but as always he sounded manly and self-confident anyway. There was silent in response. – "I want you to… hit me. I deserve it." – He finally said loosening his fists a little like he was giving up. He exhaled slowly. He wanted and needed this. So he awaited but there was nothing. He awaited a little longer. Still nothing. He hesitantly lifted his head up looking right into Eren's eyes. His face was a mess. He couldn't look at it, and the fact that he, himself was the reason of it made him feel sick. But the boy wasn't somehow angry. He looked strangely peaceful.

Eren lifted both of his hands and moved them in a direction of Levi's shoulders but before he finally placed them there he looked again at Corporal as if he was asking 'May I?' In Eren's mind the sentence "Who gave you the right to touch me!?" was still echoing, that's why needed clearly to make sure he is allowed to, this time. In response Levi just looked away. Eren took it as a yes so he barely perceptibly touched Levi's shoulders gently pulling him off himself so that they now were sitting in front of each other. Levi thought that was better position for Eren to punch, as he asked him, so he awaited once again with his eyes closed. Eren smiled a little.

"Corporal, I'm not going to do it. I don't think you deserve it. It was my fault for provoking you." – Eren said shrugging. Like it was nothing that his face was mashed. Levi opened his eyes not hiding his astonishment. He couldn't believe Eren didn't want to take the opportunity to beat him. He would beat the shit out of himself right now if he could.

"Why are you so nice, Eren? Still, after all what I have done to you?" – Levi asked honestly with a steady voice although all kind of emotions were boiling inside his body.

"You saved me earlier. Thanks to you I am still alive."

"I only showed them that you can become our valuable puppet." – Levi tried at all costs to show the kid that he is not a good guy here but he seemed to treat him like a savior anyway.

"By saving me." – Eren finished again.

"By beating the shit out of you." – Levi straightened the boy.

"Yes… But as you can see… I don't hold grudges." – The boy smiled again. Levi looked at him still astonished with his mouth opened a little.

"You're unbelievable, Jaeger." – Levi got up and put himself together. He was so surprised how this all ended. He beat the crap out of this kid and after all he made him feel good about it and made him look like a good guy here. That was so fucked up. Yet, Levi did felt better. All his anger was gone. This kid was his sunshine. _He. Was. His. Sunshine. _This sentence echoed in Levi's mind. 'But why can't you _be truly mine?_" Levi sighed and gave a hand to the kid to help him get up. It was again a silence between them when Levi took a white scarf he had around his neck and handled it to Eren. The white shirt he was wearing unbuttoned and showed a part of his beautifully shaped muscles, manly neck and strong collar bones. Eren took it with a shy smile and started to clean his face.

The scarf was so warm and soft. It smelled so good. Unbelievably good. Eren wondered, what was this scent that made him feel so aroused? But he couldn't figure it out. It just smelled like… _Levi. _This original and unique scent of the Corporal maybe mixed a little bit with… sweet mint? He wasn't sure. What he was sure was that he wanted more of it. He desired to inhale it, to feel in on his body…

He quickly had to finish cleaning the face to stop this fantasies and he looked at Levi with an asking face 'How does it look?'

Levi's eyes widened. Eren's face almost already healed itself. There were just single red scratches on his cheeks.

"It's unbelievable." – Levi whispered so quietly that he couldn't hear himself. Yet, Eren did. He touched his face and indeed, he couldn't feel any opened wounds. He also felt better and the face didn't hurt that bad anymore.

After all this strange evens they immediately went back to the castle and both acted like none of this ever happened. Like it was just an ordinary training. When they actually came back it turned out everyone was already there. The front square was almost empty but all the equipment was back at its place. Small groups of recruits were casually talking, in one of them Armin and Mikasa. It was almost 4 p.m and the sky got really dark blue color and there could be heard some thunders not so far away. Mikasa noticed the two of them walking next to each other and instantly ran up.

"Eren! I… We, started to worry. We have been here waiting from…" – She said with a really worried voice. 'As, always' Eren thought. She cared so much, almost like a mother. Mikasa stopped her sentence when she saw Eren's face. She instantly looked at the Corporal and again at his friend and again at Levi. She frowned so much and clenched her teeth and fists, her eyes like thousands of swords staring at Levi but he didn't care much about it. His face stayed unmoved, he just looked tired. – "I swear to God…" – She whispered. She was taller than Corporal too so she took advantage of it staring down at him. – "I don't care who you are…"

"Mikasa, please." – Eren interrupted frowning a bit.

"I know he did it to you." – She finally looked at Eren with an unbelieving look. 'How Eren? How can you still protect him?' She couldn't believe it.

"You know nothing. It was my fault." – Eren said with his teeth clenched.

Levi coughed very quietly feeling the blame of this was on him but somehow he couldn't say a thing to admit it. What would he say anyway? 'Yes, I almost beat him to death (again) because I'm emotionally unstable and I just can't fucking admit to myself I love this kid?! And even if I did, what then? I am almost twice his age, and we are two man. This is just not meant to be for us… ' Yes, very appropriate. Instead he just sighed and said with an irreverent voice:

"I'll leave you two kids together to work this out."

Mikasa and Eren stayed in front of each other, both not sure what to think about it. Mikasa actually held a grudge but she decided to keep it for herself this time. They felt a couple of raindrops falling on their heads and another scary sounding loud thunders. Everyone headed to the hall so did Eren and Mikasa. In silence they went through the stairs and stood in a hallway not sure what to say.

"So… Did Corporal Levi give some orders for the rest of the day?" – Mikasa asked acting angry. It seemed like every time Levi had to be mentioned she instantly got annoyed.

"Nothing I've heard of." – Eren responded. – "I don't think we will be cleaning today since the weather…" – He added looking through the huge front doors. Silence again. They just finally awkwardly left to their rooms.

Levi took care of the equipment and gently, neatly put in on its place. The feeling of tidiness made him feel happier and more satisfied. Despise that, why was he so tired today? He didn't exercise almost at all. Some training in the woods should have been nothing for him. Yet, all he wanted was a drink and a bed. After getting a long warm shower and eating something what tasted awful, he sat on the end of his bed and took vodka from his nightstand and poured himself three shots in a raw. He somehow instantly felt a little better. He hoped that after getting at least a little drunk all the feelings will go away and he will finally have a proper sleep. All he could think of was… _Eren. _'I wonder if this little piece of shit has eaten anything today.' He cursed and groaned. 'Why the fuck do I even care?!' He placed his head on his palms waiting for alcohol to start working. But somehow he couldn't feel any difference. It annoyed him even more that's why he decided on pouring three shots more. He lay on the bed wondering: _Why? _'Why life has to be so complicated? Why did this have to happen to me? _Why? _I should definitely move away. Don't make any more troubles for this kid. Just the basic conversations. Nothing more. Yes. That's a good idea' He praised himself. 'Don't treat him specially. Don't. He's just a stupid brat. Yes. You're stronger than that.' Just hearing the word 'love' made him feel sick. That's why bearing and struggling with those all new feelings that he has always hated was the biggest battle in his life.

After a while an alcohol started doing its job but unfortunately for Levi it wasn't going in quite the direction he imagined it to. What was first, he didn't feel sleepy at all now, and what was more some strange energy appeared form nowhere. But the worst thing was that those fucking feelings he despised so much wasn't going anywhere. Alcohol got really stronger in his body and he felt his cheeks becoming red. 'No.' His thoughts were changing its initial path. 'I should stay with Eren and protect him. _Always. _I wonder if he has eaten today. I should check up on him. This is what I should do, right? He's under my protection. Yes.' He mumbled this out loud but very quietly. 'I should check up on him… or should I not?' His thoughts were tangled and mashed up. He started to lose the senses of what's wrong and what's not. 'Yes. I think there's nothing wrong with checking up on your recruits. Yes, nothing wrong… with Eren… and m-me…' He finally decided on going. He improved his hair blindly a bit and quietly left the room and headed to Eren's.

When he finally got there he stood in front of the doors for at least five minutes still wondering if it's a right thing to do. But his true nature was stronger. 'I'm his Corporal and I'll do what I fucking wish'. With that thought he boldly knocked the doors. Yet, there was no response. He did it again and gain. The same. 'Where is this fucking kid this late?' His mind started to play tricks on him and in his imagination he saw Eren with Mikasa somewhere in a dark, kissing. He quickly got rid of that thought and swiftly entered the room without permission of the owner. It was really dark at first and it looked scary. The heavy rain was hitting on the window glass. Levi finally found source of the light. But with just this little kerosene lamp in the corner, the room still looked spooky. He looked around. It was very tidy, no extra stuff, no books, no clothes, it looked as if no one was staying here. Yet, surprisingly with a little hazy senses, he noticed something strange, neatly folded thing laying on Eren's bed. He instantly took a closer look… just to see it was his white scarf, he had previously given to Eren. He didn't expect him to ever return it actually. But here it was, laying freshly washed, ironed and folded, ready to be worn again. Levi's heart clenched with overload of emotions. He gently picked it up and lifted right under his nose. It smelled amazing. It had a strong floral scent probably from the soap but also something more… _Eren. _Was it possible that the boy wore it? Levi kept wondering. He took slow and very deep breaths like every single one was meant to be his last. His heart was beating like crazy, it felt like Eren was here, in his hands, it almost felt like he was holding the boy. Levi felt so safe and cozy like he has never before in his whole life. He felt like this small scarf, which Eren took care of. He wanted Eren so bad to take care of him just like he did with a part of his clothing. Just once in his life he didn't want to be the stronger one, he wanted to be hugged. 'It is so inappropriate… for my age… for my gender…for me…'

"H-heichou?" – Suddenly Eren very quietly entered his room. He saw Levi standing back to him, close to his bed but he wasn't able to see what Corporal was holding in his hands.

Levi was literally petrified for a second, he almost didn't feel all this effects of alcohol in his body anymore. He got his senses back for a couple of seconds. 'What the fuck am I doing? Why am I even here?' He slowly turned back and he saw Eren being even more handsome than he remembered him. The boy had just finished taking shower so his hair was still a little wet and so was his shirt. He must have had put in on when his body wasn't completely dry because the clothing was now ridiculously sticking to his body showing every muscle on his torso. Levi was astounded by this view and couldn't stop staring. This boy was too perfect for someone like him. After a few seconds he put himself together at least a little, so just he didn't look like a drunk and smitten teenager.

"Aah Jaeger, there you are!" – He said it more loudly than expected. – "I came here for this!" – He mumbled a little and waved the scarf in front of Eren's face. Eren now smelled the scent of alcohol coming from Levi. 'Is he _DRUNK?!' _Eren was astonished. There wouldn't be a single day in which this man didn't surprised Eren with something new. 'Why? Why to get drunk in the middle of the week, Levi?' Eren knew Levi was struggling with something. Otherwise he wouldn't have looked like that. But what was it? He wondered. The war with titans? Death of some close to him? But why to end up in my bedroom out of nowhere. He couldn't solve Levi, the man was too complicated. Yet, Eren could not see that despite Corporal still looked handsome as hell, he now also looked a little like a lost child. Maybe it was due to he's height, maybe being completely drunk? Eren wasn't sure. But what was scaring him to death was the fact that he felt like the odor of the alcohol mixed with Levi's scent in the air was intoxicating him.

"And that was so important that you needed to come down here so late?" – Eren felt bold. He almost felt like a parent catching a kid doing something inappropriate. – "You and this scarf must have a really strong bond."

Levi was so shocked with this talk, he forgot tongue in his mouth for a moment.

"Oi, Jaeger! You're lookin' for troubles again?" – Levi got a little nervous. The atmosphere influenced him as well and he indeed felt like a stupid child. – "You're right." – He said as if he gave up. – "I will go now."

"_Don't._"

'What?' Levi's mind wasn't working properly so he wasn't sure about what he had heard.

"You don't want me to go?" – Levi whispered so quietly that he barely moved his lips.

"No. I want you to give me the true reason why you're here because I know it's not because of this stupid scarf." – Eren said calmly pointing the white clothing. He knew this time he has power here and he decided to take advantage of that. 'Who comes drunk in a middle of the night for a fucking scarf?' He was confused. Yet, was very happy about it. It seemed like Levi treated him special. Again. That was so comforting for Eren.

"You won't tell me what to do, brat!" – Levi wanted to restore his power back at all costs but tangled tongue, blurry sight and dizziness weren't really helping him. This time it was for nothing, he just looked adorable at trying so hard. He finally gave up and headed for the doors.

But at the same moment Eren steadily placed his hand on the jamb cutting the exit from Levi. Corporal tried so hard to look down at the boy but at this moment he just looked silly.

Suddenly Levi decided on grabbing Eren's shirt very swiftly and strongly. – "Listen, you little piece of shit. You didn't have enough for today? Because I can do it again." – He said right into the boy's ear. Eren's body was so warm… It was so hard for Levi to focus.

But Eren just pushed him gently away, just so to look him right into his eyes. He wasn't afraid this time. He will get to know why the hell Corporal visited him in the middle of the night.

"I want to see you try in this state" – Eren smirked like a winner.

"YOU…" – Levi was boiling with emotions. On one hand he couldn't bear someone taking to him like that but on the other it wasn't just _someone_… and somehow it was so sexy to see Eren being sassy like that. Levi finally gave up and lower his head. – "What do you want me to say, Eren?" – He shrugged. 'That I unexpectedly, inexplicably felt in love with you, and tried everything to push this feeling away but it just doesn't want to leave me?' He thought getting really sad.

"Just the truth, Corporal" – Eren said honestly.

"Why you are not as gullible as all the others?" – Levi sighed.

"I see you're struggling with something. Let me help."

'_Eren, for the fuck's sake I am struggling, with myself not to fuck you really hard right now.' – _Levi's mind yelled. He thanked God he wasn't that drunk to actually say it.

Their bodies were touching a little. It was almost magnetizing, there were almost sparks between them. Eren felt shivers around his spine, so did Levi. Eren wanted so badly to touch him, to help him with whatever Levi struggled with. Hug him. But he was sure that was not what Levi wanted that was why he kept his hands together making sure not to touch him, because 'no one gave him the right to'.

"Corporal… I know I'm not the one you wish to talk to. I know I'm just a stupid brat for you but I want you to know you can count on me."

Levi started panting out of blue. The warmth and scent of Eren's body were so intoxicating. He felt it _everywhere_. Levi wanted Eren to love him back so badly. 'Eren, please give me some sign… show me if there's any hope for us… make the first step… please… _I'm begging you.' _Levi felt like caught in a trap. He couldn't do anything. Well… the thing was, he could, but he didn't want to force anything on that precious person he chose to love.

On the other hand Eren couldn't make the first step because he thought… he just couldn't imagine that was, what Levi wanted. Besides, he would feel that he was taking advantage of Corporal being drunk.

Finally Levi gave up. 'It's never going to happen. He doesn't want it. What the fuck was I thinking?' He pushed Eren away as hard as possible that he almost hit a wall with his back. – "Cut this crap Jaeger. You can say such shit to your girlfriend!" - OOPS! 'Was I supposed to say that?' Girlfriend area was indeed very sensitive and Levi was scared to death to hear the answer. If Eren really had girlfriend it would be…

"I would, if I had one." – Eren pulled Levi out of this tangling thoughts.

'Oh God. That's bad. Or good?' – Levi was panting again. If Eren had girlfriend Levi wouldn't even had any hopes for them but now… now was his chance… wasn't it? His breath was speeding up and he had no idea what to do next. They were so lose, at night, in dark basements. Who knows when such opportunity will show up again?! 'Now! You dick, do something, or you will lose him.' He thought. 'But what if he doesn't want it? I won't be able to turn in back…' Some another voice showed up out of nowhere. Their quick and loud breaths could he heard. Like if they were running. But both of them were too scared to move for an inch. This atmosphere was unbearable.

Suddenly Levi bit his lower lip really hard and finally decided. 'IT'S NOW OR NEVER.'

"OH, FUCK IT!" – He yelled not really caring anymore whether anyone's gonna hear him or whether it's gonna be the biggest mistake in his life.

"Corporal?" – Eren whispered not really sure what to expect next. He squinted his eyes ready for the worst – another punch.

But to his astonishment instead of that he felt Levi pressing his lips really hard on Eren's. It was almost like a punch. The kiss was sharp and piercing but so intense. Oh God, so intense.


	3. Chapter 3

The kiss was so warm and strong but it didn't take long. Not more than three seconds. Eren didn't even have time to actually register what just happened. He was too much in a shock, to move, to talk, to somehow response. But because of that, Levi was sure – Eren just wasn't into it. He instantly regretted this move _so bad. _He wanted to take the time back. He as swiftly as possible broke the kiss. Everything around him now got dizzy, blurry and almost black. He was either about to faint or throw up in that moment, he wasn't sure. But to be completely sure to prevent the second one he lifted his right hand into his mouth, panting like crazy. Eren was still just standing in front of him in a complete silence. After a few seconds, which seemed like ages, Levi was finally able to speak again, although he wanted to faint actually, or wanted the ground to swallow him up, it didn't matter. All he could say were short, unfinished words in a shaky and terrified voice. This was so unlike him.

"Oh God… Oh, God… I am so sorry, I-I am truly sorry, this is not what I meant…" – He gasped. Covering his whole face with his hands, as he could disappear like that. By the time Eren still wasn't responding, Levi finally got sensation in his legs back and all he wanted was to run the fuck out of this room.

But to his huge surprise, Eren did the same thing as before cutting the exit form Levi.

"Wait" – Eren said like only now he restored all his consciousness. He was still in such a huge shock that he almost thought that it all happened only in his minds. But no, he still felt the sign of it on his lips. This had to be real. As his mind finally registered that, he felt so happy that no words could describe it. What wasn't so surprising after all. All those secret dreams, of someone loving and caring about him came true in one unexpected moment. And it wasn't just _someone. _It was _Levi!_ – A man who never gives a single fuck about anyone, who never show his feelings, who despise every living thing on this Earth. Yet, he chose Eren to treat different than others. The boy was elated and couldn't understand why Corporal was now so embarrassed about. Eren looked at his beautiful face and still couldn't believe he had been kissing it just a second before.

"Please, let go off me." – Levi mumbled quietly still with terror. He was the best fucking warrior it had ever existed, he killed so many titans that he lost counting, he was everyone's idol and role model in fighting, _yet, _kissing a seventeen years old boy was too much for him to handle.

"What are you so afraid of?" – Eren finally said pulling Levi a little out if this shock and agony he was going through. His voice astonished Levi. It was so peaceful and calm, like nothing wrong had happened.

"W-What?" – Levi finally looked Eren in the eyes, he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"That kiss… do it again."

"What?!" – Levi started getting his senses back a little. 'What do you mean Eren, I though you disliked it…' He still looked astonished.

"I want you to kiss me again, Levi." – Eren couldn't really understand what was wrong. Why Levi changed his mood so suddenly. Eren was now bold and sure of himself because he understood Corporal's true feelings with this kiss. Finally. They were the same as his. There was no doubt about it. He slowly got closer to Levi's face as if he wanted to initiate another kiss.

"Eren stop… I-I… this is not right…" – Levi's body and mind finally calmed down. Now he just couldn't believe Eren was into it. 'What? How? Really? But… I am… a man… Why?' Although there wasn't anything he wanted more on this Earth now, then Eren trying to kiss him, he couldn't but wonder if it is a really right thing to do? Two man… One almost twice older than the other… He somehow wanted Eren to have a true relationship, with a girl in his age, not this… one. He saw Eren's beautiful face slowly leaning into his. – "Eren…" – He moaned with hesitation. 'I'm too old for you. You don't want this. What was I thinking?' He thought.

"You started it." – Eren decided to keep going closer and closer. He decided not to give up this time. If he let Corporal leave this room now he might never admit that this ever happened.

"Eren, please… it was a… mistake." – Levi didn't really know what to say. It was both so right to have this boy finally so close, willing to go further, but yet so wrong.

"You call this …" – Eren gently grabbed Levi's chin, lifted it up and gave him the best, soft, warm, sweet kiss that he was capable of. - "a mistake?"

"Eren…" – Levi gasped with a hot air when their lips broke away. He felt this kiss resonating down along this body really hard. - "This is not right…" – He panted heavily. – "I was just… _joking_." – He didn't really know what to do, so he decided lying was the best thing now.

Yet, Eren wasn't stupid to get easily fooled like that. Not having Levi right under him, all red, aroused and sweaty. 'Joking, you say?' He thought. 'Let's see.' His boldness got carried away.

"So you say you don't feel anything for me? Not…" – he leaned his face right into Levi's ear and his one hand he slowly placed down onto man's hip bone.- "a…" – He moved it closer, on the tight. – "single…" – closer. – "thing…?" – Finally placing it on Levi's manhood.

Levi gasped and moaned very shortly, uncontrollably lifting his head up with excitement and closing his eyes.

That was a reaction Eren intended to see. 'Joking my ass, Corporal.' He thought smirking a little. He was proud of himself that somehow he (didn't know quite how) managed to capture the most unavailable man's heart.

"Eren… please… end this… now…" – Levi said panting like crazy. He didn't even have strength to stop this on his own. Maybe because of the alcohol but mostly because he really wanted it.

"No." – Eren said firmly. – "First you'll say how you really feel! Honestly, without "joking"! No one else is listening, no one else will ever know this… - It wasn't enough for Eren that he knew, he wished to hear it. He wanted Levi to admit it to himself.

"Eren…" – Levi repeated his name like a broken tape.

"…I won't ever tell anyone. Just tell me! Tell me! Levi! It's is killing me. Why are you treating me so special!? Why did you come over here tonight…?!"

"Ere…"

"…Why? What are your true intentions?! Levi! Tell me! Tell me what your true feelings are!"

"I LOVE YOU, OKEY?!" – Levi finally broke down shouting. There was silence.

"…ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?!" – He would have blushed more if it was possible. He looked away.

"Yes." – Eren was enjoying this moment a lot. Levi never was like today. So vulnerable… so shy… – "I really hoped you'd say it" – Eren's heart was pounding like crazy with happiness with emotions, also with a… relief after all. – "… because I… love you too. I was also so afraid to admit it but after you had kissed me… all this fear was gone. I can't explain it, but I feel free now."

"What… What did you… say?" – Levi thought he overheard himself. 'So this boy actually… feels that way…' He couldn't believe it.

"I said I love you, Levi." – Eren gently hugged Corporal like he was the most precious thing on the Earth and Levi didn't even have strength to fight anymore.

"Eren… you have no idea what you getting into... I'm not… normal. I'm unstable, complicated, moody…" – Levi was mumbling all this into Eren's shirt. He was so warm, smelled so nice, he could hear his beating heart right next to his ear. – "I treat awfully the people that I care about, you won't have a sweet, sugar love with me, I…"

"I know that…" – Eren smilled. – "And still, believe it or not, I love you just the way you are, even after you had almost killed me… twice…" – He almost laughed. Levi was so cute and adorable and it was so unlike to hold him like a child.

"Why…?"

Eren shrugged and actually laughed this time.

"I don't know, I just do."

"This is so bad, kid… we shouldn't…"

"Then why did you kiss me in the first place?" – Eren asked quietly.

"I don't know, Eren. I've had too much to drink… What I know is that this is wrong…" – Levi kept mumbling but he still didn't move for an inch and the truth was… he really wanted Eren to hold him like that forever.

"Is it?" – Eren decided to try Levi again. He stopped hugging him and went back a little. – "Then maybe we should finish it already, before anything worse happens?" – He smirked.

Leiv's eyes widened. 'Is he for real? No… No! Maybe this is right after all!?' He swiftly pulled Eren back to himself. – "Shut up" – He mumbled blushing like crazy and snuggled into Eren's shirt. – "Eren…" – Levi started quietly getting his confidence back just a little. – "Have you ever done… _it?" _– He asked looking down.

"No." – Eren said a little bit shy. 'Should I have lied?' He asked himself.

"Do you want to?" – Levi continued this interview and all the tension started growing in his body. He uncontrollably gripped Eren's shirt harder.

_Yes. _

"I don't know… Do you?" – The boy asked blushing.

_Yes._

"I asked you first, Jaeger." – Levi clenched his fists even harder on Eren's back so that his knuckles went white.

Suddenly Eren decided to stop this little game. He knew both of them wanted it. The tension between the two of them was already too high, he couldn't stand it any longer. Besides, he was proud of Levi anyway for taking the first step… for confessing his love. This time it was Eren's turn to do something. He knew it.

He swiftly grabbed Levi's face and started kissing him very strongly and passionately. Levi responded with the same energy. The two of them couldn't get enough. Eren started pressing on Levi with his whole body so that they moved and hit into the wall behind Levi. Yet, none of the broke the kiss, which now got more passionate than it already was. Their hands couldn't stay steady. They were touching each other from the torso to the tip of their heads very roughly and not quite elegant. There could be heard only short and quiet moans. Finally Eren decided to go further getting advantage of Levi's open mouth strongly putting his tongue inside. Levi's eyes opened just for one second and he unexpectedly moaned louder than he probably should have. Eren smiled a little bit and continued moving his tongue twisting it with Levi's.

At that moment all obstacles that Levi had, disappeared. All his worries, all second thoughts about it, gone. He felt it was right. It was just the way it was supposed to be. They were both panting like crazy and the kiss already was too long but none of them wanted to break it.

Finally Eren was the one who did. Gasping like crazy he bended over Levi, putting his both hands on the wall, behind Corporal's head. He couldn't stop smiling, it was definitely the best moment in his life. He loved Levi so much and now he knew Levi felt the same.

"Do you still think this is wrong?" – He panted into Levi's face, smiling.

"Shut up." – Levi left like he restored all his power back. Now he couldn't understand what was he so afraid before? It felt so right, so good, now when he knew Eren loved him back. Levi smiled back and pushed Eren back so that he collapsed on to his bed. Levi got on top of him right away starting kissing him again. This time harder with more tongue as their whole bodies were moving. – "Oh, God, Eren…" – Levi panted between the kisses. – "I wanted this for… so long."

Eren smiled and felt his whole heart growing in his chest.

"I'm all yours." – He whispered into Levi's ear. Kissing it with small and short kisses getting back to his lips. Oh, God, those lips… One could just endlessly fantasize about their perfect shape. Suddenly Eren in a surge of those emotions placed his hand on Levi's trousers trying very clumsy to unzip it.

"Good." – Levi smiled again and helped Eren to do this job. And finally he relaxed for the first time feeling both like an old himself, yet completely changed. – "Because I'm going to fuck you all night, Eren Jeager."

Eren laughed in response with a cute, carefree laugh that made Levi crack up just a little bit, too.


End file.
